


The Art of Shapeshifting

by harnatano (orphan_account)



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Crack, Did I really write this, M/M, angbang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-04
Updated: 2015-03-04
Packaged: 2018-03-16 07:39:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3479885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/harnatano
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anon asked for Mairon annoying Melkor with his shapeshifting power.</p><p>(Forgive my mistakes in English)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Art of Shapeshifting

The Master of Angband was sitting on his throne, his fingers patting impatiently on his knee. Mairon had been called more like twenty-seven minutes ago and there was still no sign of him, which was truly intolarable, especially for the Lieutenant of Angband. Was he not supposed to be an example?

 

Impatience growing within him, the Vala shifted on his throne and suddenly, the Maia’s name fell from his lips with a torrent of curses. The loud growning was followed by a deep silence, quite instantly broken by the buzzing of a bumblebee. The insect was floating gracefully around the Vala who tried to slap it with the back of his hand. But the small creature was obvioulsy faster, and after a few loopings, it landed on Melkor’s shoulder. Although it was hard to say, because of its smallness, it seemed that the insect was grinning, its antenna moving frenetically above its head.  
Frowning, the Vala glances at the creature, and eventually his eyes widened as he recognized him.  
"Mairon? Is that you?"  
The evil bumblebee-maia nodded.  
"What the fuck are you doing on my shoulder?"  
With an evil shrug, Mairon-the-Bee left his comfortable spot, and flapping his tiny evil-wings, he flew before his master before turning into a…  
"A sheep?! Mairon is that a joke?"  
The black evil sheep let out a loud evil cry and soon after, the Lieutenant turned back into his humanoid fana, as proud as usual, despite the absurd amount of wool which was still covering his hands and fingers. Clearing his throat, Melkor looked down at the furry hands and a confused wince crossed his face. 

Following his gaze, the Maia grumbled and shook his hands, and instantly, the wool vanished. “Sorry about this, the sheep form was a mistake.”  
"And the bee?"  
"Just a little experiment."  
Taking his hand between his hand -but avoiding to touch the heavy black crown- the Vala sighed deeply. “Anyway… Why didn’t you come earlier ? I’ve been waiting for half an hour.”  
"I was here, I mean there." The Maia gesture to a beam above his master. "I though you noticed me…»  
"you thought I… How was I supposed to know you were here?"  
"I buzzed when I arrived."  
The two Ainur stared at each other in silence, and eventually Mairon continued. “You asked me to come, you didn’t tell in which form.”  
"I was not expecting a fucking mosquito!"  
"A bumblebee Melkor, not a mosquito."

Infuriated by his lieutenant boldness, the Vala left his throne and ran up to him, his massive hands ready to strangle. Yet, much to his surprise, Mairon’s body seemed to slip between his fingers and to vanish before him. Blinking, Melkor looked around until he heard a small evil cry coming from the ground. Slowly, he looked down, only to see a small evil hamster. The little creature was already climbing on his feet and up his leg, and at the unpleasant feeling, Melkor began to wriggle.

Needless to say the sight of their master squirming alone in the center of the throne room, would have astonished more than one orc. Luckily, no one got the stupid idea to step in the room, and if there was anyone to witness Melkor’s dance, none survived.

Finding a way under his Master’s robe, hamster-Mairon reached his hips, wich immediatly caused the Vala to cry.  
"Ma-Mairon! Sssstoop! Fffuuck not here! You know I hate tickles!"  
After a few paces around Melkor’s body, Mairon-the-demonic-hamster appeared at his Master’s collar, his tiny evil whiskers wagging with curiosity.  
Melkor relaxed and tried to catch his lieutenent, but this one slid again between his fingers; and moving to the back of his Master’s head, he reached the top of it and hid behind a Silmaril.

"Mairon get the fuck down!" The vala growled, unwilling to bring his hands too close to the jewels. The terrible hamster-Mairon didn’t move, enjoying the sight from this high spot. Cleaning his cute, but yet diabolical, little nose with his tiny evil hands, the Maia-hamster let out a soft cry which sounded like a little evil laugh.  
"I won’t set my own hair on fire just to make you come down, but let me grab one of these tools we use on the elves and-"  
Before Melkor could finish his sentence, Mairon-the-hasmter was left his nest and ran back to the ground, paying no attention to his master’s new jiggles.

This time, he decided to turn into something more… impressive and a few seconds later, a giraffe was standing in front of thrones, clumsy legs sliding on the stones.  
"What the… Mairon! Enough now with the shapeshiftings!"  
Lowering his long evil neck to look Melkor into the eye, Mairon-the abhorred-giraffe gave him an intense glare before sticking his long machiavellian tongue out. A little smirk dancing over his lips, Melkor grabbed the tongue and pulled on it, not so gently, yet not hard enough to tear it out.  
"What about this, my faithful Lieutenant?"  
A glint of panic appeared in the Giraffe-Maia’s eyes, but soon it was replaced by a mischief spark, and the abhorred giraffe stepped on Melkor’s foot, forcing him to free his tongue from his terrible grip.

During the next two hours, the servants of Angband were the witnesses of the most uncommon sight in Middle Earth: A terrible lame Vala running after a clumsy evil giraffe through the halls of the dark fortress.

Eventually, Mairon-the-giraffe reached a large room, and when Melkor stepped in, the lieutenant had already disappeared. The Vala rummaged through the furnitures a few minutes, but finding no trace of his lieutenant, he left with a dreadful growl.

Yet, as he slammed the door behind him, a soft malicious laugh escaped from one of the dark seat… An evil seat.


End file.
